TRICK QUESTION
by Gee Kane
For the first time in his career, Coach Mike Krzyzewski is responsible for guiding the play of professionals as head coach of the USA 2008 Olympic team. The collective confidence of the United States basketball nation is relying on the ability of Coach Mike to deliver the gold in Beijing with the most stacked roster since the first professional Olympic team won gold in Barcelona.
What does his ability to develop high-schoolers into professionals allow Americans to expect about how successful he will be this summer developing professionals into Olympians? As the country anxiously awaits Coach Mike’s results, it brings to mind another question: who is the best professional player he ever developed at Duke?
Well he sucks at developing players and the latter question is a trick question; there are no good Duke pros. Surely, there have been talented Dukies in the pros, but which player’s entire career should be considered the most accomplished? The first player that most likely comes to mind is Stephen Wojchiechowski. But he’s coaching now and his career highlight was that great game he played just 10 years ago in the 1998 NCAA Regional Final loss that almost sent him to his first Final Four, so he probably didn’t have the best ever pro career.
I’m not sure exactly what Stephen’s career pro highlight was because the Tee's Weekly statisticians could not find any information on his Polish career at press time. According to the official Duke website, Wojchiechowski “spent time playing professional basketball in Poland.” Right. And Tee’s Weekly founder Tee spent time kinda almost playing proper county professional soccer in Ireland.
So, if not Wojchiechoski then Grant Henry Hill is the best Duke pro ever, right? Well to be the best Duke pro ever your career must include delivering many clutch playoff performances and series sealing heroics.
Upon further review, keep searching. Grant Henry Hill stands a tremendous chance of winning his first playoff series in 2008 with the Phoenix Suns — if he stays healthy. Someone showed me a ticket this week from the Bellagio Sports Book. It was a $300 bet on Grant Henry Hill as an even bet with Dick Cheney in the “stays healthy” pool.
So which Dukie has experienced the most career playoff success after spending three hours a day with Coach Mike for his college years? The number of careers that started in Cameroon indoor stadium and culminated with a NBA Championship ring is exactly one. However, it is important to note that the five minutes a game that Danny Ferry contributed on the 2003 World Champion San Antonio Spurs were like a fine wine: busy but not precocious.
Carlos Boozer averaged 20 and 10 last season and led his team to the Western Conference finals, but that was his first and only season making the playoffs. Similarly, Elton Brand has averaged 20 and 10 for his entire career, but he has only made the playoffs in one season.
Chris Laettner averaged over 13 points for eight straight seasons but was named to one all-star game in his 13 seasons. His playoff record in those 13 seasons did not reach its peak until his last season, when he reached the Eastern conference finals as a Heat. When asked during his retirement news conference if he regretted not ever advancing to the NBA finals or winning the NBA finals, Laettner replied “How the f**k could I have ever won the NBA finals if I never f***ing played in the NBA finals, you stupid old man.” (And by the way, if one is a Celtic or a Laker does that mean one would be a Heat? Or a Utah Jazz? Or a Iowa Energy for that matter? Can we please get a ruling from Tee’s Editor-in-Chief?)
Well, regardless if Coach Mike’s players have never got the bounces in the playoffs then that must mean that there were never any great Duke pros, since to be a great you have to have some type of playoff track record. Surely no one player is completely responsible for his team’s playoff record. He could be the only above average player on his team for his entire career like Kevin Garnett.
But Duke is perennially close to the top of all colleges with players on NBA rosters — it is second behind Connecticut this season with 12 players on a NBA roster. It is the collective underachieving nature of Duke pros that stands out and points the finger back to their coach and his program.
If Brand and Boozer are the two pros who it’s fair to say have not been a disappointment, is it coincidence that they are two of the only players that left Duke early? Perhaps, the same qualities that led them to decide to leave Coach Mike early also allow them to at least achieve close to expectations.
No Blue Devil has ever exceeded expectations, the list of flops is long, the careers that were derailed by pure carelessness (Jayson Williams, Robert Hurley, etc.) and the lack of any post-season success have caused some to suggest a curse exists. However, a supernatural force would seem to absolve Coach Mike of responsibility for his failure to prepare college students for their chosen profession, and what fun is that?
This winter Coach Mike’s starting line-up will feature the names of Lance Thomas, Greg Paulus, and Kyle Singler, whose chances of eventually becoming NBA All-Stars are dependent upon a miracle in stem cell research. However, this summer Coach Mike’s starting line-up in the Olympics will include Kobe Bryant, Dwayne Wade, Jason Kidd, and LeBron James.
Up to this point in his coaching career, he has never started a single great pro and this summer he will send out almost an entire line-up of not just greats, but all-time greats.
So, America, with so many recent Olympic disappointments we’ll have to hope for beginner's luck. It seems unlikely that Coach Mike’s coaching philosophies would inherently gel well with truly gifted players. Part of the reason great players don’t come out of Duke is because great players are not always interested in sacrificing everything for the team. Part of what makes Kobe, Jordan, and Kareem and just about every player on the NBA’s 50 greatest list is that they are a little cocky. They seem to have at least a touch of swagger.
Duke players seem to have the swagger surgically removed when they sign their letter of intent to play for Coach Mike. Intensity, sure. Passion, definitely. But swagger or a healthy level of cockiness definitely seem to be lacking. There is a big difference in swagger between Shane Courtney Battier wildly pumping his fists after drawing a charge or Jonathan Redick nodding his head mockingly after making another catch-and-shoot three-pointer and Patrick Ewing high-fiving his teammates after a dunk at Georgetown. Greats carry themselves in a way that lets you know they could dominate on any stage.
When the Laker coaching job opened up in 2004 and Coach Mike considered accepting the position he eventually decided to stay at Duke. Maybe he knew the “Duke way” doesn’t translate to American professional basketball players — especially the type of players that will be Olympians in Beijing. Something about him also doesn’t translate to many card carrying Duke haters around the country.
If it can be considered patriotic to protest against war, can it be patriotic to root against the USA men’s team just because of Krzyzewski? The truth of the matter is that if the USA has four all-time greats and maybe six other possible greats on the roster, Andy Dick should be able to coach them to the gold medal. And hey, if they don’t win at least we’ll know who we can blame.