Gee I Wish I Hadn't Flopped
By Gee Kane
February 14, 2008
If college basketball does not institute a “no charge area” similar to the NBA’s, I am going to cancel my season tickets at the Hart Center in protest. And I’m going to miss going to a building where my life was threatened on numerous occasions by my coach, but if we don’t have a no-charge area then we are encouraging Duke players to play defense on their backs and we all know (*edited joke by Tee’s editor-in-chief regarding Duke lacrosse team). In soccer, coaches scold defenders for “playing defense with your hands.” This phrase means instead of getting stuck in with a hard tackle on the offensive player you avoid the defender by attempting an offsides trap and raise your hand to get the refs attention. This is generally not considered a particularly manly act of defending. However, somehow Duke’s Coach K kindled kindly to convince his players that it is a manly thing to take a charge and play defense on your back. A drawn charge is accomplished by standing directly underneath the basket while the opposing player attempts to place the ball in the basket and his crotch in your face. If they are successful in drawing a charge all four other Duke players will sprint to assist the player in getting off his back and congratulate him for his fall. My opinion is this maneuver should only be acceptable if done once a game AND on a three-on-one fast break AND outside the no-charge zone.
What is worse than taking a legitimate charge and is never acceptable under any circumstances is flopping. After watching the flopping contest that was UNC vs Duke last Wednesday, I spent this Wednesday watching the Maryland-Duke game in super slow motion breaking down every attempted charge. Maryland did a fantastic job of not driving directly at the basket but at a slight angle so that in order to draw contact the Duke players had to lean sideways. The refs did a great job this night not falling for the Duke acting jobs. The Duke players who make no effort whatsoever to play the ball when they are under the basket were freshmen Singler, Scheyer and Smith. Like Airforce Amy they just can’t wait to lie on their back. The reason flops are so awful for the game is because it takes the outcome of the game out of the players’ hands and places it in the hands of the officials. When teams start flopping the best case is what happened Wednesday night and the officials let them play. But flops still affect the shooter’s shot and no calls still affect the outcome of the game. I would like to see every attempted charge either be a block or a charge in order for there to be more risk for the defender in taking a charge. There were not a lot of charges in the Maryland game mainly because the Terps don’t have any slasher-dribble to the basket types on their team. Vasquez can certainly penetrate but he’s not jumping over anyone. He spent the night jumping around the floppers. More than once he hit Duke defenders only with this trialing leg as the rest of his body slithered around the defender.
Another terrible thing about flops is like herpes they are contagious. The first 15 minutes of the game there were only five attempted charges. Then, at the 4:53 mark freshman flopper of the year Scheyer attempts to take a charge on a stop and pop jump shot by Dave Neal. Yes, a jump shot. Neal for Maryland didn’t make contact with Scheyer until almost at the same instant his feet hit the floor as he was landing. Scheyer fell to the ground like he was kicked in the chest by Bruce Lee. That one awful flop opened the flood gates for the following four minutes of floppage:
4:46 Gist for Maryland takes a charge at the other end on a fast break pass—not even a shot.
4:29 Vasquez hits Smith on his way down and Smith pathetically and unconvincingly falls down.
4:25 Singler attempts to take a charge on a rebound. Yes, a rebound and gets no call.
3:18 Smith flops after being hit on the way down again on a drive by Vasquez.
2:19 Vasquez flops on a screen 30 feet from the basket.
1:35 Vasquez looks silly as Nelson spins by him and Vasquez collapses without being touched.
1:27 Scheyer flops as he misses a three point shot (don’t get me started on the offensive flop).
How is this basketball? There was only one charge called on the eight attempts above but the rhythm of the game was destroyed. UNC’s Tyler Hansborough, who is considered a tough player got the flop bug against Duke and was rewarded with three drawn charges. The fans were penalized with whistle after whistle from the refs. In soccer if you flop, you are given a yellow card. If you flop again you are kicked out of the game. As much as I would love for basketball to adopt that policy I would settle for a technical foul being called on floppers. To paraphrase Eminem, will the real men in basketball please stand up. Or at least stay off your backs.