ASK THE DOCTOR
Tee's Weekly Sports Psychology Advice Column
With Dr. Rachel Enakmas
Dear Dr. Enakmas,
As you know, your Loyola Greyhounds have a shot at making the NCAA tourney for the first time since the early 1990's. I don't think anyone seriously believes that they will get an at-large bid. They will have to win the MAAC tourney to get that conference's automatic bid. Should I forego rooting for my adopted big-time college basketball team, the Duke Blue Devils, in order to throw my complete support behind our alma mater? Or should I play the odds and root for both? I know you have plenty of experience in this matter as you have counseled a good friend of mine who finds himself conflicted between two other Jesuit universities every March.
Captain Ivan
United States Marine Corps
Dear Ivan,
A lot of people grow up supporting one team only to attend a different university or even their favorite team’s rival university. These situations need to be handled individually as every situation is unique. The sports psychology of being a sports polygamist is similar the being a regular polygamist—mostly fun. However, if you are asking me if you should root for either Duke or Loyola, I can certainly give you a concrete answer. It comes in the form of a 21-second video. As a Marine captain, ask yourself if you should really root for a coach that not only is an Army captain, but teaches his boys (not men) to play defense like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0upQDkY-pg&feature=related
Dr. Enakmas
Dearest Doctor,
I've got a real problem. I coach a 4th, 5th, and 6th grade basketball team at the local YMCA and we are stuck in an incredible funk. After an 0-10 season last year, we are mired in an 0-4 start this year and have lost handily to the two teams I thought might be worse than us. I've used up my basket of tricks and the kids have tuned me out. The little bastards have no heart.
It's not like the old days when a bad rope call or illegal palming call just made you play that much harder. My assistant, "Coach West," is fed up also. He could be overheard at tonight's game asking no one in particular why we had so many ****'s on our team. He then asked the commissioner if he could fire the team.
(According to rule 97b, our league does not allow a coach to fire the team.)
Coach West, always the strategist, suggested that if our "B" team played exclusively against "special' kids, it would increase our chances of not being down 11 - 0 after the first two minutes of every game. Unfortunately we do not have any games scheduled against "special" teams this season.
My question to you good doctor is how do we turn this season around? We have minimal talent, Grinch-sized heart, and Render belly-sized attitude (and of course, Caucasian coaches). I've never flown the white flag and I don't plan on starting now, but the ship is taking on water fast. HELP me Dr. Enakmas—you're my only hope.
Coach Slender
TTC Coach of the Year 1998, 1999, 2003, 2004
Chattanooga, TN
Dear Coach Slender,
Your struggles and question get at the heart of an age old coaching dilemma: can you coach heart? The answer is no, unless you threaten players with physical violence. In my day parents thought you were doing them a favor when you choked or shook the hell out of their 5th grader for lack of heart.
These days, however, parents will sue a coach faster than your team gets down 11-0. Your assistant made a joke about your “B” team, but I think there’s something there. I’m not saying the old cliché of making a big gesture by benching your whole “A” team and playing the “B” team, but what about playing the five players with the most heart regardless of ability?
John Thompson III decided upon this strategy on Monday and might have turned the season in an upward direction. The Hoyas were down on the road against one dimensional Providence team and Thompson played the guys who best understood that “your playing days wearing a Georgetown uniform are finite.” Coach Thompson played his four (count ‘em) senior co-captains and they played with a sense of passion and urgency in the second half as the Hoyas cruised to an easy win.
Play the five kids that want to play the most and if that doesn’t work, shake them until they understand the difference between winning and losing.
Dr. Enakmas
Dear Dr. Enakmas
If you could go to a camp with coach K for the same price as one with coach J, why wouldn’t you?
Steven Curtis
Hebron, MD
Dear Steven,
Because coach J’s six word life story, “Taste it. Work it. Nasty. What.” is sweeping the nation.
Dr. Enakmas